33 Days Left: Russ & Daughters Appetizers
My old friend from Jewish summer camp (and super-talented comedy writer), Dan Gregor, reviews the best food in New York in 40 days.
I’m ashamed to admit that after living within ear-shot of Russ & Daughters for 4+ years, I have still not been there. That will change in the next 7 days.
I think my posts are veering lately towards the verbose and esoteric. I’m here to write about food and fun times in New York. That’s why today’s post is about something simple…
GOD.
(…sorry….)
I went to the famous old Russ & Daughters Appetizers for the first time, picked up some lox, white fish roe and vegetable cream cheese… and had a religious epiphany.
I really did. It’s not like I saw the face of the Virgin Mary in the Murray’s toasted bagel (although everything-bagels always make me think of Edward James Olmos), but that first bite down into the freshest, sweetest, fish-oiliest lox I’ve ever had immediately transported me back to my very Jewish childhood.
Now, I’ve been an atheist for about as long as I can remember. I went to a Jewish yeshiva as a kid and all the bumbling, inarticulate rabbis and holier-than-thou Hebrew teachers made it a pretty easy decision to ignore God. If those morons are the best God could find to spread his message, then either God is an idiot or he’s not really there in the first place, I thought. I imagine it’s like how Christian atheists come to realize Jesus isn’t real when the mall Santa burps whiskey in their faces.
Or not. I don’t really know how Jesus works. Or Santa for that matter. Sorry.
Point is I always thought my friends who held on to their religious upbringings were somehow doing it for ulterior motives. Parental approval? Social convention? Big fish-little pond status? Laziness? A semi-annual excuse to wear suits or dresses? And those were the nicest ones I could come up with.
But as I walked around that old fashioned Jewish style appetizings store filled with all the Sabbath brunch delicacies of my childhood there wasn’t an ounce of disbelief in me. The heaping mounds of golden white fish? I can see it. I can taste it. I can believe in white fish.
The sticky, sweet homemade coconut macaroons? I would GLADLY read a mishnah tractate about the eternal greatness of macaroons.
I bite down on my roe, cream cheese and lox everything bagel and Judaism all of a sudden makes sense! Who cares if God exists or not. This bagel & lox sure as hell exists, and it wouldn’t without Judaism. Thank you Moses, thank you Abraham, thank you Evan (He was the guy behind the counter).
So in honor of my new found religiosity, here’s a new prayer I’m working on…
“Hear O’ Israel! The Lox, our God, the Lox are one delicious meal. Braised be thy briscuit of His glorious kingdom for ever and ever and for leftovers! Amennnnnn”
If someone could translate this in to Hebrew, that’d be great. And maybe pass it along to my old teachers.
Russ & Daughters: 179 E Houston St. at Allen St.
Murray’s Bagels: 500 6th Ave at 13th St.
